Song For Thoughts

“This is fucking high level poetry.”

This one goes out to the one I love. 

- R.E.M.

Someone went through my head and wrote this song for me. Or, I head that song before and it subliminally shaped the events that took place in the last weeks. ”You were there on the other land, in between the tears and the lightshow. What a disapointement, I thought there would be so much more. But all of this talking is driving me insane; I was told to sing along, forget about myself. Well, maybe I should change my point of view. Dizzy in the morning and I’m shaking in the afternoon.And I’m like an earthquake, when I get thinking too much”. 

Maybe I should change my point of view, bless my heart I was able to.

I get home from work and you’re still standing in your dressing gown
Well what am I to do?
I know all the things around your head and what they do to you
What are we coming to?
What are we gonna do?

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home

The troubled words of a troubled mind I try to understand what is eating you
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I last slept with you
What are we coming to?
I just don’t know anymore

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home

I get on the train and I just stand about now that I don’t think of you
I keep falling over I keep passing out when I see a face like you
What am I coming to?
I’m gonna melt down

Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home
This is killing me
This is killing me

When the days are bright but this one sharp knife keeps slicing your mood and mind in the most pervasive way. Blame it on the black star, blaming on the bad ways, even if this life is good. What is eating you ? Why all this awkwardness, a secret ? You know I always loved you. I know all the things around your head and what they do to you, they once did the same to me, I’ve learned to keep my nose out of the water. What are we gonna do? I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I last slept with you, will maybe then I will die before I sleep with you again. I get in my metro wagon and I just stand about now that I don’t think of you. I kept falling over I kept passing out for a long, long time when I used to see a face like you. What am I coming to? I don’t think I’m gonna melt down - I did so about two years ago. I’m solid rock now, but if I drop from high enough, might shatter and break into a billion of little pieces - of solid rock. 

I tried your cocaine
Just to know what it could do
I had to try it again
Just to give it a second chance
But it tore out my soul
Passed out, crashed out on a mat
And that was the end of that

Oh lately, I’ve been such a drag
All down in the dumps, man
Moping and dragging my feeds
Coping with a life of luxuries
Focused on my defeats and all the things it sucks to be
Like the Great One said, “It’s a crock of crap!”
And that was the end of that

Here we go

Wait don’t go
You distract me so
And you make it so easy to hide in the scenery
In your vintage jewellery
Like some f*cked up bumblebee
Headed for the potpourri
Of the ladies room

Wait don’t go
You turn me on so
With your bee-sting lips
And your pepper-grinder hips
Like a thread and the needle
We’re just typical people
We’re hoping to be friends, do cool stuff and be equal
I think that’s where it’s at
Can’t we just say that that was the end of that
Was the end of that…

This song revived all hopes when I thought it was all over and forever lost.  A cease-fire can easily be mistaken for a defeat when you’re down.

I don’t guess I’m doing fine, I am. But it’s such a true-heart, resilient and hopeful song that I can’t stop but listening to it over and over again once in a while. When happy, we still remember how it feels to not be. 

Twenty four
Don’t let it slip through your hands
Anymore
You might not like it where it lands
Through the door
Something more, there’s something more
Look at the pieces broken on the floor

Look at the pieces on the floor
and tell that girl that she was right
This place looks better in the light

Thirty one
Don’t say nothing to anyone
Not today
I need some time to work this out
You ask me in and then you kick me out

There’s no space in here for us
Your righteous ways, your righteous ways
Righteousness is getting lame, oh

Listen to it now
Something’s coming, something’s coming
Listen to it now
Something’s coming, something’s coming

All that you undo
Is all that you want to
All that you undo
Is all that you want to

Listen to it now
Something’s coming, something’s coming
Listen to it now, oh!

Here’s a song written about us and how we could never achieve anything together 

I’ve been going down
Down into the river baby
Listen to the sound
It’s something only god knows
You figure it out, I can’t stay
Water’s in the clouds
Is my life about to change?
Who knows, who cares

So we took a van down to colorado
Where we ran into the dead
I took you by the hand
Know that even with your doubts, it’s ok
Take into account that it’s not about to change
Who knows, who cares

You could let it down
Jump into the river baby
Easy as it sounds
It’s never quite as easily done
The current has us now, it’s ok
Take into account that it’s all about to change
Who knows, who cares

No one’s been there
But I don’t care
I know all have been there
I don’t care

I know 

I care for all the silly things that I do. This is why I put so much heart in everything all the time. I care for all the idiots that I love. This is why we are bonded so solidly even an earthquake could not get through. And I care for music so much that it is truly beyond words or even thoughts. Who knows why I do. But all I do is caring. And carrying on. So when I hear something like this, I instantly feel uplifted.

we head
back to your place
it’s not
such a nice place

i’m still
a little nervous
i thought
that you would notice

and i hate that this requires
for us to be together
and maybe i was wrong
this simple little strategy to get rid of all that’s wrong with me